123-reg.co.uk

One of my favourite people that ever lived was the majestic Frank Sidebottom. A bumbling 35 year old failure who was self delusional enough to believe he actually had a showbiz career, which he had to keep secret from his mum . Oh yeah, he also had a big head, that some people thought may have been made of papier mache. How rude. I’ve been a huge Frank fan since I was 15 and a few years ago I was lucky enough to appear on his TV show, easily the highlight of my professional life.

Well, at last someone is making a documentary about Mr.Sidebottom and his friend Chris Sievey. It’s being funded, as everything is these days, by the mighty Kickstarter. Director Steve Sullivan has reached his initial target of £20,000, so the film is definitely happening. But to make it as good as it can be, he needs more cash. If you’re feeling generous, then do pop a few sheckles in his metaphorical electronic pocket.

Ross Kemp is everyone’s favourite East End hard man. Well, after Danny Dyer. Of course. But you can’t fold Dyer’s face as easily as perhaps you’d like. The reluctant Mitchell brother, on the other hand, is far more malleable and looks wonderful when he’s all scrunched up. Just take a look at some of the wonderful examples on Kempfolds.

www.kempfolds.blogspot.co.uk

Like most people, I always leave my online Christmas shopping until the last possible minute, occasionally missing the postage deadline meaning my children don’t get any presents and we have to pretend we are Sikh and don’t celebrate it. If only there was a handy way of keeping an eye on exactly when Christmas was that I could check any time I was sat at a computer. Hang on a second, you mean THERE IS? Thank you Berners-Lee. THIS is what the internet was made for. Idiots like me.

www.xmasclock.com

Christmas is fine. That’s covered. We know when it is, sometime towards the end of December, and thanks to the previous site, we can accurately predict it. But the thing that makes me wasn’t to gouge my stomach out with a spork, is coming into work on a Wednesday only to be asked if I enjoyed pancakes the night before. ‘No, why would I’ is my usual response. ‘Because it was Pancake Day you massive has been loser, didn’t you know?’ I have missed Pancake Day every day for the last 32 years. And as we all know, these delicious flat cakes of the pan can only be eaten on this special day when we celebrate the Baby Jesus hunting in the back of the fridge for a squeezy plastic lemon left over from last year. Well, miss pancakes no more! Simply click on this next link every day until it says ‘Yes’.

www.isitpancakeday.com

I may have mentioned Axe Cop before, but to be honest, I don’t care. It is so good it is definitely worth another look. Basic premise, a young 9 year old boy (although he’s probably a bit older now. In fact, biology and aging would mean he definitely is) makes up stories about a gentleman called Axe Cop. He tells them to his older brother, who happens to be an excellent cartoonist. Older brother then makes one of the best comics based on the younger lads stories. The result is as mad and as brilliant as you’d expect.

www.axecop.com

Don’t click on this next link. This was considered hilariously funny back in the old days of the internet. I remember literally standing in a puddle of my own wee wee in 1999, thinking that we had reached the pinnacle of comedy and that we should stop trying to be funny.

www.findmyhosting.com/web-hamster

Finally, who doesn’t want to look like Kenny Rogers? If at least one of my boys doesn’t end up with silvery hair and a bushy beard just like the Islands in the Stream superstar, then I will have failed as a father. Just imagine how proud the parents of these gentlemen must feel.

www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

Want to hear my geeky news this month? I am downgrading my phone and I actually bought a Nokia 3410 to replace my iPhone 5. It’s brilliant. It doesn’t even have Bluetooth, but it does come with the Snake app preloaded.

Why am I taking this stand against technology? Well, I think I may be an internet addict and the only way to overcome this terrible illness is to not walk around with the entire WWW stored in my pocket. It’s hard work, but I’m comforted by knowing I am not the only one. Internet addiction and the terrible downer that comes with going cold turkey is now a recognised condition. Don’t believe me? Have a butchers at this –

‪http://thedrum.com/cGW 

Now, if that hasn’t scared you off, let’s get on with this shall we? Why the hell is the internet full of cats? Are they trying to tell us something? I have always thought they were of a far superior intellect than dogs, but it can’t be our feline friends filling the web with cute pictures, can it? To be honest, even if cats were running the old http, I don’t think they could have been insane enough to come up with Sports Balls Replaced By Cats. This has to be the work of their evil nemeses, dogs…

sportballsreplacedwithcats.tumblr.com/

Ooh, speaking of cruelty (although, before the Daily Mail jumps on me again, none of the sites I write about are actually cruel, what do you take me for? No, the cruel ones are just stored under my favourites in my web browser) here is a brilliant tumblr page for those of you with kids. Only a parent would get the sheer beauty of Reasons My Son Is Crying.

www.reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

How can I explain One Tiny Hand? Er, it’s pictures of famous people, Spiderman, the cast of Mad Men etc., with, well, one tiny hand.

www.onetinyhand.com/

My dad passed away recently and I miss him every day. I really do. I have so much I want to say. If only there was a way to get messages to our deceased relatives, wouldn’t that be wonderful and completely non-exploitative. Sorry? There is? A company are delivering telegrams to the dead? Well that is fantastic. How much does it cost? $5 a word…hmm…a bit pricey, but if it works, why not? Check out afterlifetelegrams.com but perhaps start with the slightly wishy washy FAQ’s.

www.afterlifetelegrams.com/AFTERLIFE/

Described as ‘flotsam and jetsam from around the world’ The Urbanaut is just that – a collection of nonsense, rubbish and stupidity from the 4 corners of the globe. And all of it is very, very funny.

www.theurbanaut.net

I had literally hundreds of emails this month* from people complaining that I don’t represent the cloud lovers of the world on this page. I am sorry, and I promise to rectify that in the next link of this article.

www.cloudappreciationsociety.org

If you are under the age of 35, well then you disgust me. No, hang on. Not disgust. Arouse me, that’s it. Anyway, you probably don’t know what a ZX81 is. Shame on you. Forget all of you kids pretending you don’t like Margaret Thatcher when you can’t name one thing she did (she invented Mr.Whippy style ice cream – FACT…. ish) you should be reading up on your computer history. The ZX81 was one of the first ever home computers, and even in its day (1981) it was considered pretty pony. Have a look why.

www.zx81museum.net

I may know a lot, but I know very little about glue. Gluing fabric to glass? Is that even possible? Why would anyone want to do it? If they HAD to do it for some deviant reason, how would they know which glue to use? They would go here, of course –

www.thistothat.com

Finally this month I have a rare treat for you – Tom Selleck, waterfalls and of course, sandwiches. Enjoy!

www.selleckwaterfallsandwich.tumblr.com

*I had literally no emails regarding my under representation of clouds.

 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

Imagine a world without the internet. Really think about it. Horrible, huh? What would we do with our time? Probably get more work done, achieve more with our lives and spend more quality time with our families. That sends shivers down my spine. Terrifying.

But luckily, we DO have the internet! And it’s brilliant! Super fast! Fibre optics! BROADBAND! I love it all, and so do you it would seem because you have been sending me loads of your favourite internet sites. Here are just a sprinkling.

First up is the wonderful Jim’ll Paint It. My sister first pointed me in the direction of this and since then, it’s been everywhere. However, if you have missed this phenomenon, then go and look now. The premise is simple – send Jim a subject you would like painted, and he will do it. And you can ask for anything. For example, one suggestion follows thusly –

‘Please paint me a picture of Ted Danson and a Ted Danson lookalike. They’re covered in bruises after getting into a fight over who the real Ted Danson is. They’ve made friends now though and are posing for a photograph at the chicken rave where they’ve been for a night out. Moira Stewart its standing behind them, looking on disapprovingly.’

The descriptions are part of the fun, but the fact this gentleman actually carries them to their conclusion is what makes it so joyous. Go and see the above painting and many many more.

http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/

Please do not confuse it with www.jimllpaintit.co.uk/ who is an actual painter and decorator who must be considering changing his company’s name and logo in light of recent events.

I love awesome people. I wish I were one. Sadly, I’m weren’t. But I get high doses of awesomeness by watching awesome people hanging out with other awesome people. Jack Nicholson hanging out with The Monkees, Richard Nixon chilling with Robocop, Dustin Hoffman spending some time with his good friend Eminem – all are available at the following website.

www.awesomepeoplehangingouttogether.tumblr.com/

One of my favourite hobbies is sleeping. I absolutely love it. Sadly, as I get older I sleep less and less. Man, how depressing is that. Part of the joy of being asleep is entering the wonderful twilight zone world of dreams. I have two recurring nightmares – being back at school about to sit an exam and not having revised or moving house. They’re repetitive, anxiety inducing and I love them. One thing I’ve not dreamed about is This Man. This Man apparently pops up in the dreams of thousands of people all over the world. Sorry, I’m not describing him well. Have a look and see if you recognise him.

www.thisman.org

The blank face, the big eyebrows, the receding hairline. Have YOU had a dream about This Man? If you have, the get in touch with the website and let them know. If you haven’t, well, sorry, but you probably will tonight.

After infiltrating your dreams with a pervy looking chap, I’ve got more bad news for you. You can’t beatbox. Honestly, you think you can, we all think we can, but we can’t. About 8 people in the world can do it and, shh, half of them use a repeat echo switch on their microphones. But with this cute little website, we can imagine what we would sound like if we could. The good thing about Incredibox is someone has obviously put a lot of effort into it and yet it is completely and utterly pointless, as all the best sites are.

www.incredibox.com

Last month I gave you Gizoogle, this month I give you a collapsing version of the worlds most popular search engine (sorry Jeeves)

www.mrdoob.com/projects/chromeexperiments/google-gravity/

OK, that’s pretty much your lot this month but before I go, who fancies playing Bomberman with 999 other people? Yeah, cool, then go here and blow your mind.

http://bombermine.com/#/

Until next month, ta ta.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

Hello internet users and lovers. Welcome to another round up of some of the more unusual websites that may have slipped by without you noticing.

One of the things I hate about modern life is the film trailer. I think I have worked out their little trick. What they do is condense the best bits of the film into 2 minutes and make it look all sexy and shiny when really it might be a load of old guff. I fell for this with Howard The Duck and I have been on my guard ever since. Screen Junkies have spotted this as well and come up with their own way of dealing with it – The Honest Movie Trailer.
They’ve done over 60 of these and they are all genius. My favourite is Skyfall and they are right – if Bond is such a super spy, how come everyone in the world knows his name? Warning, this does contain spoilers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWfg__wKSY

Hey, try and remember the scariest most messed up kids TV show or book from your childhood. I guarantee it will not be as freaky as two plastic dolls that have been adopted by some pandas and have freaky adventures in the real world.  Ladles and jellyspoons, I give you the nightmare world of the long forgotten Gerry Anderson (yes, that Gerry Anderson) project that is Candy and Andy. He wanted to turn this into a TV series, luckily television realised this was an idea that could only be harmful to children and told him to get knotted.
http://ageofuncertainty.blogspot.co.uk/2009/11/candy-and-andy.html

Following on from scary stories, are scary toys. The old days were actually mental. Before health and safety laws came in and made everything, you know, all safe and stuff, you could buy things like these and legally give it to children. I had the sparky gun listed here. At 5 I didn’t consider it a hazard but looking back WHAT WAS MY MUM THINKING! It was a gun that fired sparks! Was she mental? I did use it to try and set fire to things. Luckily for her, nothing ever caught light, but that wasn’t through lack of trying.
But my favourite in this collection has to be the Atomic Energy Lab from 1951 – it came with three low level radiation sources and four uranium bearing ore samples. What could possibly go wrong?
http://theweek.com/article/slide/231129/the-worlds-scariest-toys-a-slideshow#

I have been sent this. It turns any website into Gangsta speak. It is quite simply the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Try it with a BBC news site. You can’t help but laugh. Gangsta style.
http://gizoogle.net

I have two sons and I have literally never wondered what it would look like if my head was on one of my boys bodies and vice versa. However, after visiting the Man Baby site, I’m starting to consider it as a possibility. The first one looks like ET.
http://manbabies.com/

I want a lift but I want it MY way. I’m so bored of these ordinary lifts you see in supermarkets and buildings with more than one floor (actually, I have just typed that realised you don’t really get lifts in supermarkets. They tend to be based on one floor, but I’m going to leave it in to show you even I have flaws. That isn’t meant to be a pun, but it can be read that way.)
www.designyourlift.com/

Er…
www.airsicknessbags.com/

This is just a joy. A website where people mail in their secrets, anonymously, on the back of a postcard. Some are a joy, some are poetically painful and some are just weird. Look out for the guy who raises his wife’s arm after a particularly enjoyable bout of bunky bunky and declares her ‘The Champion’. This is one of those sites that is so simple, it’s perfect. Easily my must go to destination of the month.
www.postsecret.com/

That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

Welcome.

Before we go any further, I have to know if your computer is turned on. Would you mind checking for me? Just click on this link and it will let you know if your computer is turned on or not.

www.ismycomputeron.com

Thanks for that. Is it on? If so, then please carry on reading my silly little article. If not, would you mind turning your computer on before proceeding? Great.

It would appear that pornography is being squeezed off the internet. Which is a good thing, especially if seeing things being squeezed is what gets you going. But what is replacing this sick filth that none of us ever watch? Cats. That’s what. The world wide web is being taken over by our feline ‘friends’ and if you need proof, have a look at this lot:

http://new.livestream.com/accounts/398160/events/1594566/player_pop_up

It’s some cats with their own TV show. They don’t actually do a lot but it is strangely moreish, like a delicious cake or a drug. Seriously, one hit of this shizzle and you won’t be able to stop. Ha. Look. Those cats just had a fight and that one is STILL asleep. Genius.

One of the problems I have to deal with on a daily basis is my resemblance to Marlon Dingle from Emmerdale. And Ralf Little. And, according to some myopic idiots, Richard Bacon. I have seriously had conversations with people who have thought I was one of those poor fools I just mentioned.

Trust me, it’s easier to pretend I appeared in Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps than actually explaining who I used to be. Being mistaken for some minor TV stars is bad enough, but that’s nothing compared to this poor chap. He is the spitting image of American president Barack Obama.

www.ilooklikebarackobama.com

Admittedly, Trevor has turned this to his advantage and now hires himself out as a lookalike, but it hasn’t always been easy for him. Just look at the abuse he has received on his Fan Mail page. Why would anyone send abuse to someone just because of how they look? Crazy.

I love Masterchef, it really is my favourite programme where 2 men pick on people who can’t cook. I was surprised to find out they had a short lived dub step drum and bass recording career. Don’t believe me? Check this out. It got to number 37 in the hit parade.

http://youtu.be/IfeyUGZt8nk

I love old records, proper vinyl, and one of my hobbies is scouring charity shops and car boot sales trying to find that elusive disc. It turns out I’m not the only gentleman with this noble interest. This wonderful site logs all kinds of discs and uploads them. Who’d have thought a flexi disc for buses could be so cool? It really is. Also, if you want a rare country treat, scroll down and listen to The Weavers singing Meet The Jonson Boys – what a fantastic lost classic!

http://lordofthebootsale.blogspot.co.uk/

The person who runs this site clearly has too much time on their hands, as do I because I’ve started my own website detailing every bootleg recording of fictional pop group The Monkees. Do pop along and check out www.monkeebootlegs.com It really is proof that I should spend more time with my kids.

My sister sent me the following link and it almost makes up for her making the first 17 years of my life a misery. Photoshopping is always a dangerous game. Sure, it can get rid of the red eye and make photos a little more exciting, but if you push it too far, well, there is a chance it could look a little bit naff. Tiny Russian groom in a shoe being held by his giant wife is my favourite.

www.sadanduseless.com/2011/02/awfully-photoshopped-russian-wedding-pictures/

Finally, I don’t get this one. I’ve studied it for ages and I really can’t tell if it’s real or not. What do
you think?

www.carrotmuseum.co.uk

Want to recommend a site you think I should be looking at?
Please let me know iainATiainlee.com (you know replacing AT with @ to foil those spammers!

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

Let’s just dive straight in shall we? I’m not going to mess around this month and tease you, instead, boom, I’m going to give you one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, the Sexy Sax Man

http://youtu.be/GaoLU6zKaws

But while the Sexy Sax man takes on an epic journey into the world of the Careless Whisper, this next website doesn’t. It’s just an annoying clip on an infinite loop. How long will you last? Sadly, I watched it for 15 hours straight.

http://jupiter.kamfjord-it.no/~wheelman/Saxguy/

OK. That’s out of the way, now we can proceed.

I remember years ago when I made the move from PC to Apple Macintosh. It was an exciting journey, but also terrifying. I still struggle with certain things because the Apple Macintosh doesn’t make sense. But it looks sexy and makes me, along with the millions of other Apple Macintosh users, individuals. The main problem facing all people who cross from the dark side to the light is where is the hash key on a mac? You need never be confused again. Store this website in your favourites and click on it whenever you are puzzled.

http://www.wheresthehashkeyonamac.co.uk/

2 of my least favourite things in the world are bees and dogs. I hate them. Bees sting. Dogs bite. And wee everywhere. And dry hump your leg and sniff your crotch when you go near them. It’s odd then that I get so much pleasure from bee dogs. Don’t panic, it’s not some kind of bizarre Dr. Moreau style hybrid, it’s just bees dressed as dogs. No. Hang on. That’s not it. I meant the other one – dogs dressed as bees.

http://www.beedogs.com/

Even though I dislike dogs immensely (I am a cat person), I have to admit that this next website is cruel and should be closed down immediately. I have written to the internet and expect it to be removed soon. So click on this http://dog-shaming.com/ before this awful abuse of canines is no longer available.

People who collect toilet seats are NOT weird. And people who collect toilet seats covered in like art and stuff are most definitely NOT weird. Barney Smith runs a museum of toilet seats covered in like art and stuff and I can say categorically that he is totally 100% NOT weird. Have a look and make your own mind up.

http://www.unusualmuseums.org/toilet/

OK, maybe he’s a little odd, but odd in the good way. Not the bad way. You know that if this museum was near your house, you would buy an annual pass and be there every weekend. I can never see enough of this stuff. Ever. Yes, technically it may not be an actual museum. It is, of course, an ‘oversized garage’ but at least Barney is trying. What have you done with your life? Very little in comparison I would suggest. Very little indeed, my friends.

Fighting is bad. That’s been proven by science. Which in some ways is good, because I punch like a girl with a broken wrist and cry like a baby. But in every other way, it’s bad. We all like watching fights, don’t we? Well, fear ye not. I am not going to send you to a violent fighty fight fight site. Everything I recommend here is workplace friendly. But…we can all imagine fights can’t we? www.whowouldwinafight.com allows users to discuss fantasy fights and vote on the outcome. Yeah, it’s got the obvious ones like Batman vs Ironman (although one poster, Mythlvr0821, questions the validity of this fight in his post “Because they are from different universes, I’m assuming this fight would be a surprise to both, and that each would enter with no prior knowledge of the other.” He then goes on to say Ironman would ‘kick the crap’ out of Batman) What’s great about this site is the slightly odder battles it sets up. Google Chrome vs. Mozilla Firefox, Siri vs. Hal from 2001 and Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin. All can be argued about and debated in a fair and scientific way here.

Finally, and I only share this with you because I know you are responsible adults who will take this in the spirit in which it is intended, I give you this. It’s simple, it’s stupid and it is literally minutes of fun. Hit that button!

http://oldspice.com/explosion/

Want to recommend a site you think I should be looking at?
Please let me know iainATiainlee.com (you know replacing AT with @ to foil those spammers!

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

You know the problem – you’re sat in front of your computer, having told your wife you’re popping upstairs to ‘do some work’. But man, it’s so hard to actually get that work started. Instead, you find yourself falling down the rabbit hole and getting lost in a world of weird websites and useless YouTube clips.

That’s the problem I’m facing, except I then have to write about those things but I can’t because I keep looking at them and then worrying that I haven’t written about them so distract myself by looking at more of them.

OK, breakdown over. And breathe.

Now, I don’t do drugs but if I did, I bet it would look like this inside my tiny little frazzled mind. Scale of the Universe made me feel smaller and insignificantor (it SOUNDS likea word) then I have ever felt before (and trust me, I feel it a lot). It literally puts everything into perspective. Just don’t zoom out as far as you can. I did and something resembling the end of 2001:A Space Odyssey happened. My wife was well upset when she came in and found me as an old man baby type thing. Also, the music is beautiful. I could listen to that for minutes and not get bored.

Remember Bullseye? I used to watch it religiously. And by that I mean on Sundays. Do you remember the odd looking contestants? Well in the 80’s, these people looked normal. They don’t now! http://bullseyecontestants.tumblr.com/
is a wonderful collection of hopefuls from the darts based quiz show that made a star of Jim Bowen. Weren’t the olden days a simpler place? Certainly a lot hairier.

This months ‘it’s why Tim Berners-Lee invented the internet’ award goes to www.purple.com – no, I have no idea whatsoever.

I love Goths. I love trees. Both things are so much fun. If only someone had a website that combined the two. What, there is? http://gothsuptrees.net/ actually exists? There IS a god and he is indeed good. This made me chuckle so much, but I had been sat at my computer screen for over 16 hours straight at this point following tips and links to write this column for you that I suspect a part of my brain had actually melted.

If you’re visiting people in Dutchland (I think the country is actually called Amsterdam – Ed) then you should definitely take a gift, it would be rude not to. But what the heck do Dutch people like. I dunno. Or rather, I didn’t know until I found this little beauty http://stuffdutchpeoplelike.com/ – it turns out they like really weird stuff. For example, their cows don’t say moo, they say boo! How mental is that? Very, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They also like picking their noses, steep steps and sinks with only cold water taps. Actually, it sounds like a terrible place. I shall never be going.

Recently I had the pleasure of meeting children’s TV legend Dave Benson-Phillips. We got on really well and it was an honour to have him teach me and Rusty Lee a song from Bugsy Malone (this sounds like nonsense, I swear to you
this actually happened). However, if I had seen this site, I might have not been so friendly to the bloke. Have a look at this http://www.davebensonphillips.co.uk/dancingdave.htm Seriously, is this normal behaviour? I can answer that for you – no.

Can someone look at Bollards of London for me and tell me it’s real? I think I may have imagined it.

Oh, it gets worse. Someone just sent me this. Seriously, I think I might have to quit. How on earth are we every going to top The Pylon Society?

The answer is, we certainly aren’t this month. Thanks to everyone who sent me links. You all have too much time on your hands, and I thank you for it. If you find anything I might like drop me a line at iain@iainlee.com

Thanks

Iain
X

——————————————————————————————————————————

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

I remember the first time I ever had Pesto. I was 19 years old, at a friends house in Glastonbury.  We had pasta and I was asked if I’d ever had this mysterious smelly thing before before.

‘Of course’, I lied, not wanting to look uncool.

‘Oh good, help yourself then.’

With that, I got the tiniest teaspoonful of this green speckled sauce and placed it on the side of my plate, nowhere near my food, immediately making me look uncool.

The people I was with looked at each other, laughed and then someone spooned a whole lump onto the pasta twists and stirred it up. This made me look even uncooler than I looked 30 seconds ago, when I thought I was as uncool as it could get.

Why the reminiscence on this? Well, because I was trying to think of the first time I used the internet, and I just can’t remember it. Both pesto and the www are pretty much a daily part of my world now, but one has left a much more significant impression than the other.

I’m trying to make up for this by finding as many wonderful things online as I can, and this month I have got some great stuff for you. First up, while we are all recovering from Olympic fever, it seems for some it will never go away. One of the stars to come out of this whole exercise in physical punishment (not like that, steady) is Mo Farah who seems like the nicest man in the world. Unfortunately, he may be nice, but he constantly has people and things chasing after him. Don’t believe me? Check out this simple yet wonderful site.

http://mofarahrunningawayfromthings.tumblr.com/

My favourites are Mo Farah running away from Benny Hill and Mo Farah running away from many Mo Farah’s. Utter genius.

Mo pops up a lot on the net this month, as you might expect. He makes an appearance on The Poke, a good-natured spoof of red top newspapers. In the article, he is being sued by a burger chain for stealing their golden arches logo and using it as his victory celebration. Check out the story here http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/08/15/mcdonalds-to-sue-mo-farah-over-victory-pose/ and then have a look at the rest of the articles. Very clever and funny.

Fancy a break? Well, the odds are you won’t be going for a Kit-Kat. There are only really a few variations in the UK, and I for one am bored of them. The 2-fingered salute, the 4-way street and the chunky. Occasionally, if we are lucky, some new flavour might come out for 3 months, but really, come on chocolate boffins, put some imagination into it. If we lived in Japan (aka the BEST country in the world) we would have hundreds of different variations on this Great British invention (I have no idea if it actually is a British invention, but I’ve still got Olympic fever, so forgive me). How do I know? Well, I’ve been to Jen Kens Kit Kat Blog, of course http://jenkenskitkatblog.blogspot.co.uk/

Jen went to Japan, ostensibly to teach, but really it was to study and write about all the mental flavours of Kit Kat they have. Pumpkin Cheesecake, Bitter Strawberry, Pudding (very generic) and the revolting sounding Apple Vinegar – all are painstakingly documented here for your pleasure. Thanks Jen.

Hey, this is old but I just found it. Remember the X-Files? Well, apparently Scully used to say ‘Oh My God’ a lot! http://youtu.be/-Dw3m-vIj7A

My 2 and a half year old son has taken great delight in sticking googly eyes all over my house. I really cannot tell you how much pleasure it brings me walking into a room and finding these sticky blooming things stuck everywhere apart from on pieces of paper. I blame Mister Maker (a joke for the parents there). I was very surprised to find that this naughty and irritating activity is now considered to be a legitimate art form and even has it’s own website. http://eyebombing.com/ Is the home of what is called eyebombing, sticking googly eyes (available from any arts and craft shop) onto things. Stick with. It builds up and becomes more and more fascinating and amusing.

I had a lot of complaints that last months column did not feature enough cats. Or sinks. So, here are some cats. In sinks. http://catsinsinks.com/

Finally, if the opening few lines of this article have whetted your appetite, then go to http://www.deliciousmagazine.co.uk/articles/how-to-make-the-best-pesto-ever-(and-thats-official) because this is the best pesto recipe in the world.

As ever

If you’ve got any exciting websites you want to share, email me iainATiainleeDOTcom

———

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

I am so over Twitter. For a while, it was a really important way of life, an addiction. I had an overwhelming compulsion to tell everyone everything I was doing. Every little detail of my life had to be shared. I thought I was being hilarious, creative, daring and pushing the boundaries. Hell, I’ve got nearly 32,000 followers, I must be important.

Actually, I was probably being quite dull, as sadly, most people are on there. Hardly anyone has anything important or funny to say. And why should they? Most people are dull, and Twitter is just condensed dullness.

But, there are some shining lights on this barren sea of everyone shouting at the same time (that metaphor almost makes sense!)

First up is the comedian Adam Hess. Never heard of him? Don’t worry, you will. I’ve seen him live a few times and he is wonderful. For the first 2 minutes, there is silence in the room as the unsuspecting audience wonders why someone with such obvious difficulties has bothered to get up onstage. However, patience pays off, and at some point early on in his set, the crowd ‘gets it’ and is then taken on a most bizarre and enjoyable ride for the next 20 minutes. He is the only comedian I have seen who has managed to truly capture his act on Twitter. I know, hard to believe, but true. Follow @adamhess1 to see what I mean. I’ve just taken one of his recent tweets at random –

At my 16th birthday party, 1 guy came as a bunch of balloons, another as an untouched table of snacks & another came as an empty church hall

Wonderful, and it’s just relentless.

My most recent Twitter find is pretty similar in style to Adam’s. But whereas Adam is a grown man (sort of), @toddlerquotes1 is a 2year old. Or at least, the words are coming from a 2 year old. It’s the parents that are doing the tweeting. This isn’t the usual cute, cloying nonsense that parents think is funny but actually isn’t, this is proper laugh out loud genius that only a kid of this age could come up with. One of my fave lines is –

 (Cuddling his brother) You are my little Waitrose.

Simple, funny and totally life affirming. Follow immediately.

Hey, want to see a bonkers Finnish man show you his entire collection of VHS video recorders? Of course you do! That’s what the internet was made for.

I warn you know, this video is 8 minutes long and is just plain odd. It’s very hypnotic, partly because of the music, but mainly because of his monotone voice, bizarre obsession with outdated visual recording equipment and his bowl cut. This clip has had over 1,000,000 views. TV channels, pay attention. THIS is what people want.

This months ‘what on earth were they thinking?’ goes to http://www.watching-grass-grow.com/ It does exactly what it says on the tin, along with a bizarre and strangely uplifting version of Live And Let Die playing in the background. It sounds like it was composed on a Sega Mega Drive and I kept expecting Alex Kidd to pop up.

Last month I introduced you to the world of Women Laughing Alone With Salad, today I give you Women Struggling To Drink Water  It is a total joy. I just lost an hour of my life looking at this. Is it supposed to be sexy? Why do they keep missing their mouths? PUT THE BOTTLE TO YOUR LIPS AND THE WATER WILL GO IN!

I hate Garfield the cat. Tedious, not clever and just plain annoying. That is why I was so excited when I heard of Garfield Minus Garfield. This is, and I quote directly from the site –

‘…dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.’

Genius.

I was going to end the article there, but I’ve just had an email from Chris Kennedy telling me about what is now my new favourite site of all time. I shall leave you with www.zombo.com where the only limits, are your imagination.

If you’ve got any exciting websites you want to share, email me iainATiainleeDOTcom

———

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments

I have been struggling to recall what life was like before the internet, and I honestly can’t remember much of it at all. It’s just a hazy blur of moping around, standing at bus stops and reading things that I believe we used to call books. Sounds hideous, doesn’t it? The www has enriched our sad, pathetic lives by allowing us to access ANYTHING we want. The world is out there and we can peak at it anytime. Want to take a virtual tour of the Sistine Chapel, then tap in this catchy little URL http://mv.vatican.va/3_EN/pages/x-Pano/CSN/Visit_CSN_Main.html and you can.

If you’re curious as to what every Beatles song played at the same time sounds like, then go here (I warn you now, it sounds blooming awful) and if you have ever wondered the height of every American president, then you need to visit the Presidential Height Index which is here – Abe Lincoln is the tallest at a staggering 6ft10!

With all of this knowledge and art available to us at just a few taps of a keyboard, why then do we spend 98% of our time looking primarily at pornography and pictures of cats (statistics from The Office Of Made Up Statistics)? These two things dominate our online experience. Luckily, no one has yet managed to successfully combine these two experiences.

…Oh hang on, I just Googled it. They have.

You can find that for yourself, you mucky little things. There is no chance of me fouling up my history folder on my browser with filth like that. Again.

By the way, if you own more than one cat you are mental. If you film your harem of cats and put those films on YouTube, you are completely certifiable. If those videos then get nearly 30,000,000 views, you’re still mental but also a genius, a bit like Ronald McDonald. Japanese cat-o-phile Shirone Koshiro is all of these things. Why are these films so popular? I have literally no idea. Have a look and see what you think.

Speaking of mental, after a plea for websites that I could write about in this column, I received loads of suggestions (send them to iainATiainlee.com – you know replacing AT with @ so the spammers don’t get me please). But as soon as I saw the subject heading ‘Women Laughing Alone With Salad’, I knew this month’s search was over. Whoever came up with this site is either a lunatic on a par with The Joker from the hugely popular Batman series of comic books, or a genius on a par with Brainiac from the virtually unknown Superman series of comic books. It is literally pictures of women. Who are laughing. On their own. Whilst being near salad. Even thinking about it is making me chuckle. Seriously have a look now, because this will be your new favourite website of all time ever for today. It’s websites like this that make me think some people have way too much time on their hands. Why would you do this? Why?

Finally, I feel bad for pointing you in the direction of that unlistenable Beatles ‘thing’ at the start of this piece. Let me try and rectify that by playing you the most amazing mash up of songs by the 60’s mop-top-pop-quartet. Every note comes from Liverpool’s finest and Hank Handy really has done a fantastic job. Magical.

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

Share and Enjoy

Comments