Iain Lee - The Magic of the Internet

 

 

Computers are good and fun and the internet is a gift. Do you remember a few years ago when some vicar or bishop came out and said the internet was like God? That’s not the exact quote, and a quick Google (does anyone ever say ‘a quick Bing’) has been unable to locate it. I say quick, it was literally 12 seconds of sort of looking, and now I think on it I may have imagined it, but, let’s assume I didn’t. So he said it. And he was wrong. God could not come up with some of the stuff I have found for you this month. Hang on, have I just done a John Lennon? Look, this intro hasn’t really worked. Shall we just crack on with it?

Imagine a badly animated genie, floating on your screen and able to guess whoever you are thinking of. And when I say whoever, I probably mean whomever (I still don’t understand that rule) and I definitely mean someone who is famous. Not just your gran. Come on guys, technology is good, but it isn’t that good. Yet. The day will come, but like silver suits, jetpacks and hoverboards, we just have to wait a little bit longer. Anyway, such a genie DOES exist and it’s pretty amazing. By asking a few questions, The Akinator managed to work out that I was thinking of Peter Tork of The Monkees. Sure, it guessed David Cassidy first, but give it a break. Even more amazingly, it guessed ME as well! Sweet.

http://en.akinator.com/

Alex Chiu reckons he has invented an immortality device (wear the device for 1 day and ‘equals to 30 days of healing without the devices. It heals your body faster than you can age. That’s why you stop aging.’ Yeah, of course it does mate) You can also buy a Gorgeouspil which, I think, makes you gorgeous. Now, I’ve been looking at this badly designed website for a while now and I can’t work out if this bloke is serious or not. You have a look, and if you do buy his immortality device, let me know if it works

www.alexchiu.com/

Er…who is Toby? And who are her daughters? And who is Howard Cohen? None of these questions will be answered at Howard Cohens website.

www.howardcohen.com

Only the other day I was wondering where on earth I could find the 8 Most Bizarre Religious Rites as well as the World’s Smallest Waistlines. In the past, I would have to search for those things separately, but no more. Odee is a collection of, well, just odd things and it is wonderful. You can spend literally minutes falling down the rabbit hole on this site. A joy and one of those internet websites that will have you forwarding on links to your friends via electronic mail (email). My favourite page on there is 9 People Who Were Found Dead Years After Their Death.

www.oddee.com/

Gary Carpenter recommended this next page by popping along to my FB page (www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial seeing as you asked) with just the most exciting description. He wrote ‘Ambient music played over muffled answer machine messages’ – that one short line was enough to get me hooked. Listen Machine shouldn’t work, but man alive, it does and it is a joy. Hypnotic, beautiful, surreal and downright weird – everything a good website should be. Thanks Gary.

www.listenmachine.com/

Leon Rolyat is a ‘singer’ and indeed a ‘songwriter’ who has been harassing me for ages. He once appeared on a radio show I was presenting in London. He came down from Birmingham. When I casually asked him how he made the journey, I was surprised when he replied he had ‘got a cab’. That cab cost him around £300. Determination to promote his god given talent? Or a complete lack of self awareness and of his own limitations? Well, have a listen to his song ‘Ooh A Party’ and you decide. I know the answer but I wouldn’t want to prejudice you.

www.leonrolyat.com
 

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That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial

You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month.

A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.

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