I have downgraded my phone. Seriously. I now have what I annoyingly call a â€˜not-so smart phoneâ€™ Here, have a look at it â€“
Now that isnâ€™t my actual phone, mine doesnâ€™t have a leaky screen, but thatâ€™s the model. It turns out that having the internet in my pocket is a weight that I can not carry around any more. All this bad boy does is phone calls, texts and it has the Snake app. Actually Snake II but whoâ€™s counting?
Iâ€™m doing it so I use the internet less, but that means when I do go online, I just want the good shizzle. I donâ€™t want to waste my time looking at utter rubbish, and neither do you and thatâ€™s why youâ€™re here.
First up is the grumpy Beach Boys lead singer Mike Love. He may have thought Pet Sounds, one of the finest albums of all time, was â€˜ego musicâ€™ and he may have scuppered the release of what could possibly been the only true rival to Sgt.Pepper, but still, heâ€™s fun to look at. Especially when itâ€™s pics of him looking weird. See what I mean here.
Iâ€™ve been to Japan and I have always loved their toilets. Some ladies lavatories have a button that plays the sound of flushing without actually flushing to mask the noise of, well, you know, toilet habits. But I may have been lucky. It would appear not all toilets in Japan are so good. If only there was a map that told you which ones to avoid. There is? Cool. My favourite is the one at Shinjuku â€˜the toilet is not only dirty, it is poisonousâ€™ â€“ ouch!
Who doesnâ€™t like looking at huge great lumps of old fashioned meat? The kind your nanna would have forced down your tiny throat on a Sunday afternoon. Even I, a vegetarian of 25 years, can recognize the beauty in these lumpy, tough looking pieces of the past.
This next site is, well, I have to be honest, genuinely amazing. Some of you may have noticed that on occasion I sneak in a website that I say is quite good but is actually so bad itâ€™s gone past bad into good and come out the bad side again. Pointer Pointer is the work of a genius who thankfully, so far, has used his or indeed her powers for good. It took me 4 clicks to realize what was going on. Now I simply cannot stop. You have a go.
Ah ha ha ha ha ha. My favourite in this next link is â€˜Stolen Playstation Angerâ€™ â€“ whatâ€™s yours?
We all know that the â€˜ghostâ€™ in 3 Men And A Baby is actually a cardboard cut out of Tom Selleck badly hidden behind a curtain by a ghost. But did you know you can see the body of a dead Munchkin hanging from the trees in the background of the Wizard of Oz. No, nor did Iâ€¦until I saw the evidenceâ€¦
OK, I realise I am primarily just sending you to a load of sites that predominantly feature photographs, but isnâ€™t that warming? Instead of spoiling you with all kinds of trippy hi-tech stuff, I am basically passing around the family album. Not my family, no, we would never take any weird pictures. Not like these ones anyway. Estate agents pictures are supposed to make the homes they are selling look better. Not creepy.
I love my cat Velvet. I really do. When she dies, and at the age of 14 it is going to be much sooner than I could possibly hope for, I may possibly find myself glancing around the internet to try and seek solace in my sadness. I hope I donâ€™t stumble across this next site as I canâ€™t think of any place worse to visit than Rainbow Bridge.
Right, enough self-promotion. Gosh, how DO those Americans do it?
In fact, I feel all embarrassed and awkward. I may have to go and have a lie down. For a month. If you find any websites I should be banging on about, then please let me know at www.facebook.com/iainleeofficialÂ
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You can read Iain Leeâ€™s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month.
A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4â€™s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 Oâ€™Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.