The Iain Lee Column – The Magic of the Internet
Hello internet users and lovers. Welcome to another round up of some of the more unusual websites that may have slipped by without you noticing.
One of the things I hate about modern life is the film trailer. I think I have worked out their little trick. What they do is condense the best bits of the film into 2 minutes and make it look all sexy and shiny when really it might be a load of old guff. I fell for this with Howard The Duck and I have been on my guard ever since. Screen Junkies have spotted this as well and come up with their own way of dealing with it – The Honest Movie Trailer.
They’ve done over 60 of these and they are all genius. My favourite is Skyfall and they are right – if Bond is such a super spy, how come everyone in the world knows his name? Warning, this does contain spoilers.
Hey, try and remember the scariest most messed up kids TV show or book from your childhood. I guarantee it will not be as freaky as two plastic dolls that have been adopted by some pandas and have freaky adventures in the real world. Ladles and jellyspoons, I give you the nightmare world of the long forgotten Gerry Anderson (yes, that Gerry Anderson) project that is Candy and Andy. He wanted to turn this into a TV series, luckily television realised this was an idea that could only be harmful to children and told him to get knotted.
Following on from scary stories, are scary toys. The old days were actually mental. Before health and safety laws came in and made everything, you know, all safe and stuff, you could buy things like these and legally give it to children. I had the sparky gun listed here. At 5 I didn’t consider it a hazard but looking back WHAT WAS MY MUM THINKING! It was a gun that fired sparks! Was she mental? I did use it to try and set fire to things. Luckily for her, nothing ever caught light, but that wasn’t through lack of trying.
But my favourite in this collection has to be the Atomic Energy Lab from 1951 – it came with three low level radiation sources and four uranium bearing ore samples. What could possibly go wrong?
I have been sent this. It turns any website into Gangsta speak. It is quite simply the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Try it with a BBC news site. You can’t help but laugh. Gangsta style.
I have two sons and I have literally never wondered what it would look like if my head was on one of my boys bodies and vice versa. However, after visiting the Man Baby site, I’m starting to consider it as a possibility. The first one looks like ET.
I want a lift but I want it MY way. I’m so bored of these ordinary lifts you see in supermarkets and buildings with more than one floor (actually, I have just typed that realised you don’t really get lifts in supermarkets. They tend to be based on one floor, but I’m going to leave it in to show you even I have flaws. That isn’t meant to be a pun, but it can be read that way.)
This is just a joy. A website where people mail in their secrets, anonymously, on the back of a postcard. Some are a joy, some are poetically painful and some are just weird. Look out for the guy who raises his wife’s arm after a particularly enjoyable bout of bunky bunky and declares her ‘The Champion’. This is one of those sites that is so simple, it’s perfect. Easily my must go to destination of the month.
That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial
You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.
A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.