I am so over Twitter. For a while, it was a really important way of life, an addiction. I had an overwhelming compulsion to tell everyone everything I was doing. Every little detail of my life had to be shared. I thought I was being hilarious, creative, daring and pushing the boundaries. Hell, I’ve got nearly 32,000 followers, I must be important.
Actually, I was probably being quite dull, as sadly, most people are on there. Hardly anyone has anything important or funny to say. And why should they? Most people are dull, and Twitter is just condensed dullness.
But, there are some shining lights on this barren sea of everyone shouting at the same time (that metaphor almost makes sense!)
First up is the comedian Adam Hess. Never heard of him? Don’t worry, you will. I’ve seen him live a few times and he is wonderful. For the first 2 minutes, there is silence in the room as the unsuspecting audience wonders why someone with such obvious difficulties has bothered to get up onstage. However, patience pays off, and at some point early on in his set, the crowd ‘gets it’ and is then taken on a most bizarre and enjoyable ride for the next 20 minutes. He is the only comedian I have seen who has managed to truly capture his act on Twitter. I know, hard to believe, but true. Follow @adamhess1 to see what I mean. I’ve just taken one of his recent tweets at random –
At my 16th birthday party, 1 guy came as a bunch of balloons, another as an untouched table of snacks & another came as an empty church hall
Wonderful, and it’s just relentless.
My most recent Twitter find is pretty similar in style to Adam’s. But whereas Adam is a grown man (sort of), @toddlerquotes1 is a 2year old. Or at least, the words are coming from a 2 year old. It’s the parents that are doing the tweeting. This isn’t the usual cute, cloying nonsense that parents think is funny but actually isn’t, this is proper laugh out loud genius that only a kid of this age could come up with. One of my fave lines is –
(Cuddling his brother) You are my little Waitrose.
Simple, funny and totally life affirming. Follow immediately.
Hey, want to see a bonkers Finnish man show you his entire collection of VHS video recorders? Of course you do! That’s what the internet was made for.
I warn you know, this video is 8 minutes long and is just plain odd. It’s very hypnotic, partly because of the music, but mainly because of his monotone voice, bizarre obsession with outdated visual recording equipment and his bowl cut. This clip has had over 1,000,000 views. TV channels, pay attention. THIS is what people want.
This months ‘what on earth were they thinking?’ goes to http://www.watching-grass-grow.com/ It does exactly what it says on the tin, along with a bizarre and strangely uplifting version of Live And Let Die playing in the background. It sounds like it was composed on a Sega Mega Drive and I kept expecting Alex Kidd to pop up.
Last month I introduced you to the world of Women Laughing Alone With Salad, today I give you Women Struggling To Drink Water It is a total joy. I just lost an hour of my life looking at this. Is it supposed to be sexy? Why do they keep missing their mouths? PUT THE BOTTLE TO YOUR LIPS AND THE WATER WILL GO IN!
I hate Garfield the cat. Tedious, not clever and just plain annoying. That is why I was so excited when I heard of Garfield Minus Garfield. This is, and I quote directly from the site –
‘…dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb.’
I was going to end the article there, but I’ve just had an email from Chris Kennedy telling me about what is now my new favourite site of all time. I shall leave you with www.zombo.com where the only limits, are your imagination.
If you’ve got any exciting websites you want to share, email me iainATiainleeDOTcom
You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month.
A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.