Sax man, dogs and fighting
Let’s just dive straight in shall we? I’m not going to mess around and tease you, instead, boom, I’m going to give you one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, the Sexy Sax Man. But while the Sexy Sax man takes on an epic journey into the world of the Careless Whisper, this next website doesn’t. It’s just an annoying clip on an infinite loop. How long will you last? Sadly, I watched it for 15 hours straight. OK. That’s out of the way, now we can proceed. Hidden hash I remember years ago when I made the move from PC to Apple Macintosh. It was an exciting journey, but also terrifying. I still struggle with certain things because the Apple Macintosh doesn’t make sense. But it looks sexy and makes me, along with the millions of other Apple Macintosh users, individuals. The main problem facing all people who cross from the dark side to the light is where is the hash key on a mac? You need never be confused again. Store this website in your favourites and click on it whenever you are puzzled. http://www.wheresthehashkeyonamac.co.uk/ Bee more dog Two of my least favourite things in the world are bees and dogs. I hate them. Bees sting. Dogs bite. And wee everywhere. And dry hump your leg and sniff your crotch when you go near them. It’s odd then that I get so much pleasure from bee dogs. Don’t panic, it’s not some kind of bizarre Dr. Moreau style hybrid, it’s just bees dressed as dogs. No. Hang on. That’s not it. I meant the other one – dogs dressed as bees. Doggone shame Even though I dislike dogs immensely (I am a cat person), I have to admit that this next website is cruel and should be closed down immediately. I have written to the internet and expect it to be removed soon. So check out this site before this awful abuse of canines is no longer available. By the seat of your pants People who collect toilet seats are NOT weird. And people who collect toilet seats covered in like art and stuff are most definitely NOT weird. Barney Smith runs a museum of toilet seats covered in like art and stuff and I can say categorically that he is totally 100% NOT weird. Have a look and make your own mind up. OK, maybe he’s a little odd, but odd in the good way. Not the bad way. You know that if this museum was near your house, you would buy an annual pass and be there every weekend. I can never see enough of this stuff. Ever. Yes, technically it may not be an actual museum. It is, of course, an ‘oversized garage’ but at least Barney is trying. What have you done with your life? Very little in comparison I would suggest. Very little indeed, my friends. Fight! Fighting is bad. That’s been proven by science. Which in some ways is good, because I punch like a girl with a broken wrist and cry like a baby. But in every other way, it’s bad. We all like watching fights, don’t we? Well, fear ye not. I am not going to send you to a violent fighty fight fight site. Everything I recommend here is workplace friendly. But…we can all imagine fights can’t we? Who Would Win in a Fight allows users to discuss fantasy fights and vote on the outcome. Yeah, it’s got the obvious ones like Batman vs Ironman (although one poster, Mythlvr0821, questions the validity of this fight in his post “Because they are from different universes, I’m assuming this fight would be a surprise to both, and that each would enter with no prior knowledge of the other.” He then goes on to say Ironman would ‘kick the crap’ out of Batman) What’s great about this site is the slightly odder battles it sets up. Google Chrome vs. Mozilla Firefox, Siri vs. Hal from 2001 and Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin. All can be argued about and debated in a fair and scientific way here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month. A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.
The size of the universe and dancing TV personalities
You know the problem – you’re sat in front of your computer, having told your wife you’re popping upstairs to ‘do some work’. But man, it’s so hard to actually get that work started. Instead, you find yourself falling down the rabbit hole and getting lost in a world of weird websites and useless YouTube clips. That’s the problem I’m facing, except I then have to write about those things but I can’t because I keep looking at them and then worrying that I haven’t written about them so distract myself by looking at more of them. OK, breakdown over. And breathe. Look how small you are Now, I don’t do drugs but if I did, I bet it would look like this inside my tiny little frazzled mind. Scale of the Universe made me feel smaller and insignificantor (it SOUNDS like a word) then I have ever felt before (and trust me, I feel it a lot). It literally puts everything into perspective. Just don’t zoom out as far as you can. I did and something resembling the end of 2001:A Space Odyssey happened. My wife was well upset when she came in and found me as an old man baby type thing. Also, the music is beautiful. I could listen to that for minutes and not get bored. And Bully’s special prize… Remember Bullseye? I used to watch it religiously. And by that I mean on Sundays. Do you remember the odd looking contestants? Well in the 80’s, these people looked normal. They don’t now! It’s a wonderful collection of hopefuls from the darts based quiz show that made a star of Jim Bowen. Weren’t the olden days a simpler place? Certainly a lot hairier. Purple domain, purple domain… This month’s ‘it’s why Tim Berners-Lee invented the internet’ award goes to Purple.com – no, I have no idea whatsoever. The image below is a screenshot of the site, click it to see the real thing. If you want. It looks exactly the same. You’ve goth to see this I love Goths. I love trees. Both things are so much fun. If only someone had a website that combined the two. What, there is? Goths Up Trees actually exists? There IS a god and he is indeed good. This made me chuckle so much, but I had been sat at my computer screen for over 16 hours straight at this point following tips and links to write this column for you that I suspect a part of my brain had actually melted. Going Dutch If you’re visiting people in Dutchland (I think the country is actually called Amsterdam – Ed) then you should definitely take a gift, it would be rude not to. But what the heck do Dutch people like. I dunno. Or rather, I didn’t know until I found this little beauty Stuff Dutch People Like – it turns out they like really weird stuff. For example, their cows don’t say moo, they say boo! How mental is that? Very, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They also like picking their noses, steep steps and sinks with only cold water taps. Actually, it sounds like a terrible place. I shall never be going. Dancing Dave Recently I had the pleasure of meeting children’s TV legend Dave Benson-Phillips. We got on really well and it was an honour to have him teach me and Rusty Lee a song from Bugsy Malone (this sounds like nonsense, I swear to you this actually happened). However, if I had seen this site, I might have not been so friendly to the bloke. Have a look at this. Seriously, is this normal behaviour? I can answer that for you – no. Oh, it gets worse. Someone just sent me this. Seriously, I think I might have to quit. How on earth are we ever going to top The Pylon Society? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month. A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.
The Iain Lee Column – The Magic of the Internet
I remember the first time I ever had Pesto. I was 19 years old, at a friends house in Glastonbury. We had pasta and I was asked if I’d ever had this mysterious smelly thing before before. ‘Of course’, I lied, not wanting to look uncool. ‘Oh good, help yourself then.’ With that, I got the tiniest teaspoonful of this green speckled sauce and placed it on the side of my plate, nowhere near my food, immediately making me look uncool. The people I was with looked at each other, laughed and then someone spooned a whole lump onto the pasta twists and stirred it up. This made me look even uncooler than I looked 30 seconds ago, when I thought I was as uncool as it could get. Why the reminiscence on this? Well, because I was trying to think of the first time I used the internet, and I just can’t remember it. Both pesto and the www are pretty much a daily part of my world now, but one has left a much more significant impression than the other. I’m trying to make up for this by finding as many wonderful things online as I can, and this month I have got some great stuff for you. First up, while we are all recovering from Olympic fever, it seems for some it will never go away. One of the stars to come out of this whole exercise in physical punishment (not like that, steady) is Mo Farah who seems like the nicest man in the world. Unfortunately, he may be nice, but he constantly has people and things chasing after him. Don’t believe me? Check out this simple yet wonderful site. http://mofarahrunningawayfromthings.tumblr.com/ My favourites are Mo Farah running away from Benny Hill and Mo Farah running away from many Mo Farah’s. Utter genius. Mo pops up a lot on the net this month, as you might expect. He makes an appearance on The Poke, a good-natured spoof of red top newspapers. In the article, he is being sued by a burger chain for stealing their golden arches logo and using it as his victory celebration. Check out the story here http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2012/08/15/mcdonalds-to-sue-mo-farah-over-victory-pose/ and then have a look at the rest of the articles. Very clever and funny. Fancy a break? Well, the odds are you won’t be going for a Kit-Kat. There are only really a few variations in the UK, and I for one am bored of them. The 2-fingered salute, the 4-way street and the chunky. Occasionally, if we are lucky, some new flavour might come out for 3 months, but really, come on chocolate boffins, put some imagination into it. If we lived in Japan (aka the BEST country in the world) we would have hundreds of different variations on this Great British invention (I have no idea if it actually is a British invention, but I’ve still got Olympic fever, so forgive me). How do I know? Well, I’ve been to Jen Kens Kit Kat Blog, of course http://jenkenskitkatblog.blogspot.co.uk/ Jen went to Japan, ostensibly to teach, but really it was to study and write about all the mental flavours of Kit Kat they have. Pumpkin Cheesecake, Bitter Strawberry, Pudding (very generic) and the revolting sounding Apple Vinegar – all are painstakingly documented here for your pleasure. Thanks Jen. Hey, this is old but I just found it. Remember the X-Files? Well, apparently Scully used to say ‘Oh My God’ a lot! http://youtu.be/-Dw3m-vIj7A My 2 and a half year old son has taken great delight in sticking googly eyes all over my house. I really cannot tell you how much pleasure it brings me walking into a room and finding these sticky blooming things stuck everywhere apart from on pieces of paper. I blame Mister Maker (a joke for the parents there). I was very surprised to find that this naughty and irritating activity is now considered to be a legitimate art form and even has it’s own website. http://eyebombing.com/ Is the home of what is called eyebombing, sticking googly eyes (available from any arts and craft shop) onto things. Stick with. It builds up and becomes more and more fascinating and amusing. I had a lot of complaints that last months column did not feature enough cats. Or sinks. So, here are some cats. In sinks. http://catsinsinks.com/. As ever If you’ve got any exciting websites you want to share, email me iainATiainleeDOTcom ——— You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every last Friday of the month. A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.