Sax man, dogs and fighting
Let’s just dive straight in shall we? I’m not going to mess around and tease you, instead, boom, I’m going to give you one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Ladies and gentlemen, the Sexy Sax Man. But while the Sexy Sax man takes on an epic journey into the world of the Careless Whisper, this next website doesn’t. It’s just an annoying clip on an infinite loop. How long will you last? Sadly, I watched it for 15 hours straight. OK. That’s out of the way, now we can proceed. Hidden hash I remember years ago when I made the move from PC to Apple Macintosh. It was an exciting journey, but also terrifying. I still struggle with certain things because the Apple Macintosh doesn’t make sense. But it looks sexy and makes me, along with the millions of other Apple Macintosh users, individuals. The main problem facing all people who cross from the dark side to the light is where is the hash key on a mac? You need never be confused again. Store this website in your favourites and click on it whenever you are puzzled. http://www.wheresthehashkeyonamac.co.uk/ Bee more dog Two of my least favourite things in the world are bees and dogs. I hate them. Bees sting. Dogs bite. And wee everywhere. And dry hump your leg and sniff your crotch when you go near them. It’s odd then that I get so much pleasure from bee dogs. Don’t panic, it’s not some kind of bizarre Dr. Moreau style hybrid, it’s just bees dressed as dogs. No. Hang on. That’s not it. I meant the other one – dogs dressed as bees. Doggone shame Even though I dislike dogs immensely (I am a cat person), I have to admit that this next website is cruel and should be closed down immediately. I have written to the internet and expect it to be removed soon. So check out this site before this awful abuse of canines is no longer available. By the seat of your pants People who collect toilet seats are NOT weird. And people who collect toilet seats covered in like art and stuff are most definitely NOT weird. Barney Smith runs a museum of toilet seats covered in like art and stuff and I can say categorically that he is totally 100% NOT weird. Have a look and make your own mind up. OK, maybe he’s a little odd, but odd in the good way. Not the bad way. You know that if this museum was near your house, you would buy an annual pass and be there every weekend. I can never see enough of this stuff. Ever. Yes, technically it may not be an actual museum. It is, of course, an ‘oversized garage’ but at least Barney is trying. What have you done with your life? Very little in comparison I would suggest. Very little indeed, my friends. Fight! Fighting is bad. That’s been proven by science. Which in some ways is good, because I punch like a girl with a broken wrist and cry like a baby. But in every other way, it’s bad. We all like watching fights, don’t we? Well, fear ye not. I am not going to send you to a violent fighty fight fight site. Everything I recommend here is workplace friendly. But…we can all imagine fights can’t we? Who Would Win in a Fight allows users to discuss fantasy fights and vote on the outcome. Yeah, it’s got the obvious ones like Batman vs Ironman (although one poster, Mythlvr0821, questions the validity of this fight in his post “Because they are from different universes, I’m assuming this fight would be a surprise to both, and that each would enter with no prior knowledge of the other.” He then goes on to say Ironman would ‘kick the crap’ out of Batman) What’s great about this site is the slightly odder battles it sets up. Google Chrome vs. Mozilla Firefox, Siri vs. Hal from 2001 and Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin. All can be argued about and debated in a fair and scientific way here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month. A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.
The size of the universe and dancing TV personalities
You know the problem – you’re sat in front of your computer, having told your wife you’re popping upstairs to ‘do some work’. But man, it’s so hard to actually get that work started. Instead, you find yourself falling down the rabbit hole and getting lost in a world of weird websites and useless YouTube clips. That’s the problem I’m facing, except I then have to write about those things but I can’t because I keep looking at them and then worrying that I haven’t written about them so distract myself by looking at more of them. OK, breakdown over. And breathe. Look how small you are Now, I don’t do drugs but if I did, I bet it would look like this inside my tiny little frazzled mind. Scale of the Universe made me feel smaller and insignificantor (it SOUNDS like a word) then I have ever felt before (and trust me, I feel it a lot). It literally puts everything into perspective. Just don’t zoom out as far as you can. I did and something resembling the end of 2001:A Space Odyssey happened. My wife was well upset when she came in and found me as an old man baby type thing. Also, the music is beautiful. I could listen to that for minutes and not get bored. And Bully’s special prize… Remember Bullseye? I used to watch it religiously. And by that I mean on Sundays. Do you remember the odd looking contestants? Well in the 80’s, these people looked normal. They don’t now! It’s a wonderful collection of hopefuls from the darts based quiz show that made a star of Jim Bowen. Weren’t the olden days a simpler place? Certainly a lot hairier. Purple domain, purple domain… This month’s ‘it’s why Tim Berners-Lee invented the internet’ award goes to Purple.com – no, I have no idea whatsoever. The image below is a screenshot of the site, click it to see the real thing. If you want. It looks exactly the same. You’ve goth to see this I love Goths. I love trees. Both things are so much fun. If only someone had a website that combined the two. What, there is? Goths Up Trees actually exists? There IS a god and he is indeed good. This made me chuckle so much, but I had been sat at my computer screen for over 16 hours straight at this point following tips and links to write this column for you that I suspect a part of my brain had actually melted. Going Dutch If you’re visiting people in Dutchland (I think the country is actually called Amsterdam – Ed) then you should definitely take a gift, it would be rude not to. But what the heck do Dutch people like. I dunno. Or rather, I didn’t know until I found this little beauty Stuff Dutch People Like – it turns out they like really weird stuff. For example, their cows don’t say moo, they say boo! How mental is that? Very, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They also like picking their noses, steep steps and sinks with only cold water taps. Actually, it sounds like a terrible place. I shall never be going. Dancing Dave Recently I had the pleasure of meeting children’s TV legend Dave Benson-Phillips. We got on really well and it was an honour to have him teach me and Rusty Lee a song from Bugsy Malone (this sounds like nonsense, I swear to you this actually happened). However, if I had seen this site, I might have not been so friendly to the bloke. Have a look at this. Seriously, is this normal behaviour? I can answer that for you – no. Oh, it gets worse. Someone just sent me this. Seriously, I think I might have to quit. How on earth are we ever going to top The Pylon Society? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s it for now. Do please keep sending me your websites. I don’t have a proper job so I need something to keep me off the streets. Pop along to www.facebook.com/iainleeofficial You can read Iain Lee’s very own take on the internet here on the 123-reg blog every third Friday of the month. A familiar face on television since he got his first break landing the job hosting Channel 4’s thrice weekly topical comedy show the 11 O’Clock Show at the age of 25, Iain is also an award winning radio presenter, top podcast creator and a genuinely funny guy with an eye for the bizarre.
Top six weird or disturbing mobile apps
According to Apple, you can get hundreds of thousands of apps for your iPhone. And there are tens of thousands of titles available if you have a mobile phone which uses Google’s Android system. As you’d expect given the choice, there are plenty of useful apps. And there are plenty of lists to help you find them. But there are plenty of useless, weird and disturbing ones too. Here’s our rundown of the top six. If you don’t want to install them, we completely understand: The ASBOrometer. Ever wondered how where you live or work ranks in the anti-social behaviour league tables? Wonder no longer: the ASBOrometer uses government data to give you statistics for anti-social behaviour right on your iPhone. Just the thing if you’re the jumpy sort – next time you’re wandering in a strange neighbourhood, you can check exactly how safe you are. Wheretheladies.at. This app is in development. It was recently covered on TechCrunch and uses information from Foursquare to find places near you which have the most women ‘checking in’ to them. Seriously. Whatever your opinion, it’s quite telling that there’s no corresponding service to help find where the men are at. MEanderthal. This app comes from the highly-respected Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, yet still has the ability to make your photos look decidedly odd. It does this by transforming your face into the face of an early human. Disturbing? Yes. Educational? Probably. Give it a go to decide for yourself (warning: it’ll probably make your nose much bigger). Find out more > HealthMap. If the ASBOrometer hasn’t done enough for your levels of paranoia, hop on over to HealthMap, a service which tracks the global state of infectious diseases. Of course, it plots them on a nice map, so you can see exactly what outbreaks are happening near you. It could be essential, if swine flue returns this winter. Honest. Find out more > Photo Shooter. Having a bad day? Use this app to pepper photos of your choice with paintballs or bullet holes. Ok, so even though they’re not real bullets, we still can’t help thinking that if one of your colleagues finds their photo covered in bullet holes, they might feel a little worried. Find out more > iLickIt. Like the website says, ‘to make the iPhone hygienic, clean it with an alcoholic wrap’ before you use this app. It’s the first iPhone game you can play with your tongue – you have to lick clean a plate displayed on the screen. Ideal for a gadget which gets carried all day in grubby or dusty bags and pockets and doesn’t react well to water. Find out more > So, those are our top six (and we didn’t even have room for iDrunkTxt or Pocket Heat). Have you found any other weird apps for your mobile? Leave a comment here and we’ll go check them out.